Frustrated

My sincerest apologies to those of you who subscribed to (or those of you who aren't real friends and don't subscribe to but casually read *evil glare*) my blog expecting amusing tales of my misadventures in Russia. Until I leave in February, it will largely be an outlet for my bitching about life, my second favorite pastime (next to eating. maybe napping, but I don't think that is a legitimate pastime, so its not on the count). Don't get too disheartened, as it will still be amusing, if not in the sophisticated witty way I aspire for it to be, then at least in the schadenfreude sort. Eh, its my damn blog, I'll write what I want.

I ask this completely rhetorical question:

On what planet is it alright to confess you undying love for a girl who left you, several years ago, after you had acted like a complete jerk to her for the year previous (following two rather content years of togetherness) via a text message sent at 5am? Especially after that girl had been ever-so-politely ignoring the innuendo-filled 3am text messages you had been sending the week prior?

Incidents like this are why, at age nineteen, I have forsaken exclusive relationships until such a time as I am ready to consider matrimony. That way, I can't look back and think, "Why did I ever date such a bonehead?

Oh, yeah. Free food.

Sorry to break your hearts boys, but the only reason we pretend to be interested in you is the food you provide us. Really good acting on our part also often leads to shinier gifts. In that respect, girls are like raccoons. Or piranha. Way to a girl's heart? Pasta and Yurman.

Additionally, failure to engage in serious relationships will also prevent this scenario from popping up. I am in the habit of being a really good girlfriend... I fry things, I don't really care if men go to strip clubs, I'm not a feminist, and I mix a stiff drink. It stands to reason that men tend to want me back after I leave them. But, generally, I left them for a reason, and it serves only to annoy me. Cutting the boyfriend problem out of my life also frees up the ex-boyfriend problem.

*Disclaimer* Some of this post are in jest. Others are written in frustration. Try not to ever take me too seriously. For example, many women prefer Tiffany to Yurman, and others are more Godiva girls or are on low-carb diets.