Preparations, Part два

So, I am far too sick to do anything more productive that stare blankly at a tv screen. Studying would be too labor-intensive. Well, thats my story, and I plan on sticking to it.

This post will chronicle how f*ing hard it is to even get into Russia. I have been abroad a few times before, and usually I just buy the cheapest plane ticket I can find and call them a few days before my scheduled departure to choose a vegetarian meal. Not that I'm a vegetarian; I'm just a little freaked out at the prospect of eating meat at 40,000 feet. Meat that comes from a questionable source, and has been sitting in an airline cooler for hours. I don't even eat meat from the Stetson dining hall. Plus, Leslie Nielson isn't around to save us any more.

Russia is a mite different from the rest of the world. For example...

To get into America:
a. Have a valid passport
b. Buy a plane ticket
c. Don't be a terrorist.

To get into Russia:
a. Have a valid passport
b. Get an HIV test done within 90 days of your scheduled departure.
c. Buy a plane ticket (I'm not sure about the ability of terrorists to get into Russia. As of now,
nobody has asked me if I am one) (I am not)
d. Acquire a visa, valid starting within 5 days of your departure. This is a 3-month visa
e. On the plane, fill out a migration card in duplicate. Give one to customs. Keep the other one.
f. Within 3 days of arrival, take your passport and attached visa to a passport office. They will
keep it, and give you a little reciept. Being found in Russia, as a foreigner, with no
passport/visa is grounds for immediate exhile to Siberia.
g. Within a few days, recieve your passport and new, extended, multi-entry visa back. Carry
these on you at all times, and do not lose them (see part f)
h. When its time to leave, try to find that silly little migration card you filled out on the plane 5
months ago. You need it to get out of the country.

In other, non Russia-related news, we had a frost here last night, and, to my benefit, I didn't think it was that cold. Which is probably why I'm this sick. Also, as a result, we are being held hostage by channel 10 news, who refuses to leave our farm until they get an interview we are unwilling to give. Mama just said they are going live at 6pm, with or without our permission. In condensed form, the story is "Its really cold. Our plants are dying. Expect to pay more for produce." Ugh, I think I'm going to sell some text books online so that I feel productive without actually moving.