Russian Girls: A Case Study

So, I've been meaning to write a post on this for a while. Currently, I am trying to keep from falling asleep in my Russian History class, and I suppose this is a good time to do it. This might come off as a little bitchy or bitter, but it is meant to be humorous. But, to be honest, I've no female Russian friends. Everyone here seems to laugh a little bit at Russian girls, foreigners and Russian men alike. Maybe I have it all wrong, and they are all wonderful, amazing, kind souls. I don't know. None of them speak to me. So, I shall continue assuming they are all vain, trite, competitive, and cold, until somebody proves me wrong.

Russian girls never leave their house/room without full makeup and their hair perfect. Everyone jokes that they won't even go to the toilet without makeup, and I have heard one admit she puts on lipstick to take the trash out. I imagine girls who move in with their boyfriends make sure they wake up an hour early to get ready before their man wakes up, out of fear that he shall quiver in fear at her true appearance.

And I partially do not blame them. On the streets, Russian girls look beautiful. Absolutely amazing. But I think 80% of it is cosmetics. I have only seen my roomate about 4 times, and she looks like a completely different person each time. First time, I thought she was beautiful. The next time, she was prepared for bed, and I was wondering what I was thinking the first time. She was swamp haggish. And then, the third time I ran into her, she was even more beautiful than ever.

Russian girls are also very skinny. Occasionally, you'll see a chubby girl, but its very rare. 10X more often than that, you'll see an anorexic-looking chick. I was told that some girls here will regularly go three days without consuming anything but orange juice, in hopes of staying skinny. One of the American boys is dating a Russian girl who eats nothing but a small snack every day.

So, keep in mind, you will come to Russia, and immediately feel fat and ugly. Get over it. I literally ran through an entire compact of foundation my first month here. Luckily, I found my usual makeup at a store here. But I am slowly giving up on going out in full whore regalia. As previously mentioned, Oleg doesn't mind me not wearing makeup, and it is really doing a number on my skin. And the food here is so rich... don't even bother trying to lose weight here. Vodka doesn't help.

Dressing like a Russian girl in winter is even more problematic. I dress very well for an American, both here and back home. Still nothing compared to what the Russian girls wear. Usually, they wear high-heeled boots, sometimes stilettos, which generally reach to the knee. These are almost always paired with some sort of miniskirt and nice top or minidress. To keep warm, they usually wear a form-fitting down coat, belted at the waist, that reaches to the knees, usually with some sort of fur-lined hood(genuine or synthetic)that they almost never actually put on their head.

Also, straight bangs, which went out of style with the over 12 crowd in the 1990's, and really popular here. Usually, the bangs are much shorter than they should be...

So, please don't hate me if you disagree with this (Oleg). I am just stating observations, and trying to warn my gf's who shall be coming after me.